Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Leads (day 2); Active vs. Passive Voice; Article #2

Let's look at the leads for these three articles. Together, let's identify the lead.

TASK #2:
With a partner, choose two articles from an online news source and examine each article's lead. Write the headline, author, and the newspaper or source where you found the article, and write out the lead of the article. Finally, identify the type of lead used and explain whether or not the lead is effective or ineffective and why. Put both names on 1 answer sheet to turn in. [see post below for specific details!]

TASK #3
  • Examine your own article (article #1) and identify the type of lead you used. Write the type of lead you used on the 2nd draft copy. 
  • Revise your article. Revise your article to avoid common or ineffective errors like the models mentioned above. For example: Change passive voice to active voice. Clarify long sentences. Rewrite introductions. Rearrange your structure. Use the inverted pyramid structure to restructure your work. Call this draft your second draft (draft #2) and turn in WITH YOUR ORIGINAL. Note: your original draft should have your identified lead clearly marked.
Turn in your work (#2 & #3 and a copy of your 300-400 word article) by the end of class.

WRITING TIP: One way to make our writing better is to use active voice in our stories.

TASK #4: ACTIVE VOICE

The secret of active voice is to make the subject of the sentence perform the action. Make the subject act rather than be acted upon. What this means, for the most part, is that the person or thing doing the action appears first in the sentence.

Passive Voice has the subject acted upon. It is the opposite of active voice.

These sentences are written in passive voice:
  • The match was won by senior Jake Standish.
  • At dawn the crowing of the rooster was heard.
  • The test was taken by all the French classes. 
Notice that the verbs (won, crowing, taken) are accompanied by a helping verb (was, in this case). This is a clue that you may be in passive voice.

When you see the main verb accompanied by was, were, is or are, make sure to evaluate whether it is written in active or passive voice. Find the person or thing doing the action, place it first in the sentence, and write a simple subject/verb sentence.

Caution: Just because a sentence contains is, are, was, or were does not necessarily mean it is in passive voice. For example, the sentence:
  • Senior Susan Patterson is the winner of the speech contest.
is not passive voice. Also, be sure to distinguish between past tense and passive voice. The following sentence is past tense: Senior Susan Patterson was the winner of the speech contest.

These sentences are written in active voice:
  • Senior Jake Standish won the match.
  • The farmer heard the rooster crow at dawn.
  • The rooster crowed at dawn.
  • All French classes took the exam.
Active voice is important because:

1. Fewer words are used, so it is shorter and saves space. (Passive voice is often awkward.)
2. Each sentence is more crisp and forceful. (Passive voice robs a sentence of power.)

Acceptable Use of Passive Voice

Occasionally in journalistic writing, the situation calls for a passive voice verb. Injuries, deaths and natural disaster often fall into this category. In such instances, the passive voice is preferred because the subject has been the victim of the action. For example:
  • The 12-year-old was kidnapped. The elderly woman was struck on her way home.
  • Five children were trapped in the burning house.
  • The special prosecutor was taken by surprise.
In such cases, those receiving the action are more important than those performing the action. 

ACTIVITY (Task #4): Please write out by hand the 5 of the following 10 sentences and change the passive voice to active. Turn in your work by end of class today for participation credit.

1. The instructions have been changed

Someone ________________ the instructions.

2. She will have to be taught.

Someone ________________________ her.

3. The car was manufactured in Japan by Toyota.

Toyota ________________________ this car in Japan.

4. It was wondered why the exercises had not been finished on time.

Why ____________________ the exericises finished on time?

5. Last year 2,000 new units had been produced by the time we introduced the new design.

We ________________________2,000 new units by the time we introduced the new design last year.

6. Casual clothes must not be worn.

You ________________________ casual clothes.

7. $400,000 in profit has been reported this year.

The company _________________________________$400, 000 in profit this year.

8. The test will be given at five o'clock this afternoon.

The school ___________________ the test at five o'clock this afternoon.

9. Students are required to wear uniforms at all times.

The school ___________________ students to wear uniforms at all times.

10. This rumor must have been started by competitors.

Our competitors _____________________ this rumor.


TASK #5 Article #2:

Let's add an inch. 400-500 word article #2

Write an article that you feel would appeal to the readers of a school newspaper. Research one of the following topics or brainstorm a topic of your own to write about. Use the links below to help you research, compile notes/sources, and write an article of 400-500 words that serves as one of the functions of journalism. Keep the information you've learned about active voice, leads, and the inverted pyramid style in mind as you write!:
Aim to complete your article by the end of class today. Note: please use single-space and two columns for your article. You may also fully justify your text. (full justify as opposed to left justify).

HOMEWORK: If you did not complete your 400-500 word article today, please complete on your own and turn in at the beginning of our next class.

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